Yes, I'm here

Sorry for such an absence as of late. Life just is spinning and spinning! Some not so good but lots of very good. I am hoping that soon the merry-go-round will slow down a bit so I can get my bearings again.

Just a few hits...The house situation worked itself out and we now are just about fully moved in to our lovely new home. There were some funny stories from the move, but over all, it went well. Carter loves his new house and his big backyard. He has already collected a pile of sticks and has explored the creek a little bit without our knowledge! I feel comfortable enough to let him play out there by himself for a while. There are enough windows in the kitchen to keep an eye on him but I like giving him a bit more independence now. Until he takes a tumble into the creek, I suppose! But hopefully soon we'll have the fence up and he won't be able to get down there. Pfeiffer is loving having room to run. She hasn't caught any squirrels yet, but has come a bit close to getting a rabbit. We haven't seen any other wildlife just yet though.

Alison is just doing what she does best. She's still tiny, but is getting longer. She's just now getting out of her three month clothes, but mostly because they are too short on her. She may be a bit smaller than Carter was at her age. They both have check-ups at the end of October. Ali is trying to sit up on her own. She HATES being on her belly and when she's put there just arches that back and screams. She prefers to just sit back and watch everything pass by. Carter was the same way and never really crawled much. So, we'll see if Ali warms to being on her belly. She is laughing and cooing all the time now. She has the sweetest smile that just melts your heart. She is finding her voice so there are times of the day that she just sits there Ahhhahhhahhing. The drooling has started already so I won't be surprised if she's an early teether as well. She doesn't take the pacifer as much as Carter did, but rather sucks on her thumb and fingers. This makes part of me melt because I was a thumbsucker big time. This morning, we walked into her room to get her up and she had come out of her Miracle Blanket and was half-asleep, sucking away on her thumb. I love it! I know that it is harder to break kids from thumbsucking, but it's just so darn cute at this age.

She has moved up to about six ounces of formula at each feeding. I held off on changing her to the faster flow nipples but finally broke down this past weekend since her others were wearing out. Now, she sucks those bottles down and cries for more! We've changed her to the Sensitive formula because she was spitting up a little bit.

That's about all that's going on here. Carter is turning four in a few weeks. It's hard to believe in some ways. But he's so much fun, learning new stuff everyday. He's been singing songs from daycare a lot more lately. I don't know what we are going to get him for his birthday. He isn't really into much lately. Besides baseball and football, that is. He loves anything to do with Orioles and Ravens, but toy-wise, he doesn't play with much. Oh well, we'll figure it out.

Well, my friends http://herdofsheps.blogspot.com/ and Cate have all started this 101 things to do in 1001 days list. I think I may have to think about doing it too. Sounds like a nice thing to work on. But I have to spend some time coming up with the actual list.

To every season, turn, turn, turn

There is just something exhilarating about the season change from summer to autumn. This is my most favorite time of the year and probably always will be. Granted we still haven't hit our full-on incoming fall weather. Just this weekend we were sweltering in our house because of the humidity. But, it's coming. This morning at 6:30am, it was still dark out. The other evening while leaving Chris' parents' house, it was down right chilly. But this time of the year just invigorates me. Probably because we kick it into high gear and there is just so much to do.

Each year at this time, there are more opportunities to do exciting things than there are free weekends! While I haven't been to the state fair since I was in elementary school, that's the official end of summer around here. Then there is the Reinassaince Festival. I didn't get to go last year and it looks as though I won't this year with everything else going on. But that is one of my favorite activities of the end of summer/beginning of fall time. All the excitement around you, the food, the performances...just so much fun. Then in October, there is the pumpkin farm trips and the numerous birthdays that are all jammed into one month.

Needless to say, it's a busy time. Added to all the excitement this year is the move to the new house. I am slowly, but surely making my way through "stuff" and getting rid of it or packing it up. Luckily with this situation, if we don't get it all done in one weekend, it's okay. We aren't rushed to get out of the current house, so that will help things a lot.

In a few years, I'll have Carter to get ready for school during this time. I have so many friends that are sending their kids off to school and part of me is sad that I have two years to go for this feeling. Then there's the small part of me that knows it's going to break my heart seeing my baby boy head off to big school. Since his birthday is in October, he has to wait until the year he turns six to start school. I'm okay with that because he'll then be one of the oldest in his class as opposed to the youngest. To be honest, I think I'm going to be okay with Carter doing the school things but when Ali starts school, I'll be a wreck. Is that bad? I guess it's kind of like I'm rushing Carter in my mind to grow up, but trying to hold Ali back. It's normal I suppose.

But here's to just under two weeks left of torture. Then it's on to the new experiences of the new home!

Wow...the dust is forming!

A whole month without a post! I apologize to the two people that may read this. :)

This summer was fun, but it's time to change seasons. Both in weather as well as in life. I am now the proud mommy of two adorable and healthy children. My husband and I are in good health and are deeply in love. Our family is complete (minus the pets that will come and go in our lives) and we are happy. Sure, there are tough days, days that Carter makes me want to pull my hair out. Days that Ali won't stop crying and just wants to be held all hours. But, we get past them.

With everything that is going on in the world lately, home is extremely comforting. And soon, that place we call home will be on the other side of town. We have bought our dream home. Who would have thought that it would be in Maryland still, but sure enough, it is. Granted, we haven't moved into it yet, so there could be some down sides to the place, but to be honest, I think we are safe in dubbing it our dream home. It is a 94 year old Victorian home sitting on just under an acre of land. There is a little creek that runs through our yard and a pretty long driveway leading to the house. (Long driveway for the outskirts of Baltimore City I should say) Can I tell you how much I am looking forward to seeing Carter's face when he takes in the size of this backyard? Or how exhilarating it will be to see Pfeiffer do a million laps around it? And the thought of baking cookies and cooking a big dinner in the country-fied kitchen just makes me smile. I can't get the thought of waking up on Christmas morning here out of my mind.

I have never lived in a detached house. All my life, we have lived in apartments and townhomes. This has been a dream of mine since I was old enough to realize the difference in homes. To not have to worry about someone else's cars in my parking area. To not be woken up at 2am by the next door neighbor arguing via throwing things against the walls. Hopefully no cops called on the hoodlum kids. *sigh* We can only hope.

On the kid front...Carter is getting huge. I can't believe he's going to be four years old in just a few weeks. Alison is just growing like infants do. She's sticking to the middle of the charts in her growth, so she may not be as big of a baby as her big brother was. She is just smiling away at anyone that pays her any attention. Carter is basking in the big brother limelight. He has been amazingly good with her. I never had too many worries about his behavior, but he's doing great.

I am truely blessed. When I start complaining again, just remind me of this post.

An update of sorts...

Haven't had much time online, at least enough to dedicate to updating my blogs. But I have stolen a few minutes while Chris has Alison and Carter is watching some Mickey.

Things have been going well. It's stressful, of course, but overall, we are doing well. Alison is a great nurser, but she seems to want more than I can offer her. The whole process is going better than it did with Carter, but it's still tough. She is a great sleeper though. Just last night was amazing. She ate around 11pm and then was out for the late evening. Around 2:30am, I had to wake her up to nurse. She went right back to sleep and slept until about 6am. After nursing again, I must have fallen asleep with her in bed with us. Carter woke us up around 7:30am and we all rested some more until about 8am. That's how it's been most nights. So, hopefully, our daughter will be like our son and will be a good sleeper for the most part.

I have my two week check up on Monday. I'm hoping I will get cleared to drive then because I'm getting cabin fever and with Chris going back to work next week, it would be nice to have the option to get out and walk around the mall or something. Chris leaves for his three week trip next Monday and I'm really not looking forward to it. We are taking Carter up to Delaware next Sunday for a week. I know he'll have a blast with Pop and Coco but I'll miss him again. But I just don't think I'm up for being a single mom of two plus a doggie for three weeks. For the next two weeks, I still am not sure just what the plan is. My parents would like to go down to North Carolina, but that really depends on several things. If my mom needs to be around for things for my aunt, then we can't go. If my doctor doesn't release me to drive until 6 weeks post-op, then I can't help drive and we probably won't go. As much as I would love to go down there as there would be a million people to help out with the kids, I'm starting to think a 12 hour drive would not be good for me or Alison. If we don't end up going, my dad will come to pick Carter up for daycare most mornings. I'm sure they wouldn't mind keeping him a few nights either.

But all in all, it's great having our family complete. Each time I get stressed out or overwhelmed, I think of the fact that this is my last time with an infant. Later on in life, when I get the baby bug biting, I'll just go visit a friend that has a baby to get my fill. But, we are done!

Alison's story!!

Well, at least I am going to try to tell the story. I haven't had too much computer time these last two days due to an extremely hungry infant!

Okay, so Sunday, Chris and I went to Kobe for dinner and I gorged on yummy yummy Japanese steakhouse food. I ate it ALL! Then we headed home and I finished packing for the hospital. Monday morning, after a night of really not sleeping too much due to nerves, we headed for the hospital around 6:30am or so. We got there, got registered and eventually asked to come back to the prep room. We had to call our parents to tell them to hold off on coming to the hospital because no one would really get to see me until I got to my room around noon. I changed into the robe and the most adorable hair net (heehee). I laid down on the bed and the nurse started monitoring Alison and took my history. After doing all the pre-op, we waited just a little bit for the OR to open up. They had had an emergency section so we were pushed back just about ten minutes or so. The anesthesiologist came in and told me that instead of a normal epidural, they were going to do a spinal block on me to completely numb me. I walked into the OR and got up on the torture device, oh I mean the operating table. They did the block and immediately, my legs felt like warm water was being poured down them. It was the strangest feeling! I'm sure it felt similar last time, but I didn't remember it. They laid me down and set up the drape. It couldn't have been more than five minutes when they were then poking me to make sure I was numb. I was, so they brought Chris into the OR. The drape at GBMC was MUCH lower than at St. Joe's so Chris kept his head right down by my head so he couldn't see anything on the other side. The surgery itself wasn't bad. I was nervous, but it wasn't bad. They started everything at 9:15am and at 9:38, we heard the sweetest sound a mother ever can hear. The doctor held Alison up so I could see her and then the nurses took her to get cleaned up.

Chris was called over and he got to cut the cord this time since it wasn't an emergency and he got to put on her first diaper. They weighed her and Chris brought the camera over to me so I could see the pictures. They finished up the surgery and the tubal on me as Chris and Alison went to the recovery room to wait for me. The doctor complimented me on my anatomy. Yeah...weird!

While in recovery, Chris brought back my parents one at a time to see me. After a while of them monitoring me, they finally wheeled me back to my home for the next few days. I was starting to feel weird then but just thought it was the drugs. Chris' parents came back then along with my parents and Carter. The nursery took Alison for her evaluation and ended up having her for like two hours! But during that time, I got the full side effects from the spinal block. I got these waves of nausea and would retch. Which really didn't feel too good after the numbness started going away. Over the next day and a half, I would get these bouts along with EXTREME itchiness. Ugh, it was horrible! But having Alison to hold was worth it all.

From the get-go, Ali was a great nurser. She latched well and seemed to get the whole thing. Tuesday was a good day after some of the side effects started to wear off. Then, Tuesday night, the nurse brought Alison back from her nightly evaluation. She had lost 8.2% in weight. That just depressed me so much. I knew she would lose some, but I really was hoping it wouldn't be enough to worry about. I lost it. I think then everything just crashed down on me. The stress of the surgery, the pain, and now the fact that my baby was losing weight. I hadn't stayed ontop of my pain all day and by the evening was in excruciating pain. Chris had been out doing something and came back to me in tears. The night nurse came in and saw the breakdown I was having. She got me the full amount of pain meds and suggested to me to send Alison to the nursery for the night. They would supplement her for the night and I could get some much needed sleep. After debating it, I decided it needed to happen. And after another crying round, I went to sleep. I woke up feeling a lot better and called to bring my baby back to me. We decided to try doing the supplementing through the syringe while she was nursing just to get her to stay at me longer. I also started pumping. Wednesday was better and it didn't hurt AS much to get up to walk around. Thursday was even better and I probably could have gone home. But Chris had to go into work and I didn't know what time he would be back, so we stayed until Friday.

Overall, it was a stressful and painful experience, but my daughter is the sweetest thing ever! Carter is doing great with her and is going to be a great big brother. The nursing is going much better. I am trying not to stress about it because that doesn't help things along at all. Yesterday and today she has been cluster feeding and I feel that my milk is finally coming in. We'll see on Tuesday if she's gaining or losing weight. I nurse her as much as I can and if she's still hungry after me nursing her more than twice in an hour, we give her a bit of formula. I'm trying to hold the formula until I absolutely cannot take anymore nursing for a bit. So, hopefully, in a few days we will be on a good schedule and she will be getting at least most of her milk from me.

I'm sure there will be more updates about these first few weeks, but right now, it's time for me to wrap this up. I have to pump and then rest a bit. It's been a long day. I'll update again when I get a chance! But as most moms know...these first few days are always so hectic.

Four more days!

Since I'm quite positive I won't be going early, the countdown is at four days to go. I was supposed to go to the doctor's today at noon, but around 11am or so, I got a call from the office saying the the doctor I was scheduled to see had an emergency and would not be able to keep her appointments for the day. It's all good and I rescheduled for tomorrow and will actually be seeing the doctor who will be doing this surgery so it all works out.

I'm getting a bit antsy for it all to be over, well at least this part of it. I'm tired of the pain and discomfort of having this weight pressing down on me. And while I know that when she's out, it's a whole new ball game as far as rest and pain goes, at least this part will be over.

I have made it a point to get out of the house for the past two days. Yesterday I went to Wal-Mart, a place I hate to go, and treated myself to a lunch at the sub shop in Carroll Island. Then I came home and rested a bit before having to pick Emily up from school. My parents were at the hospital visiting Edith so I had to step in. They all came back to my house and I made spaghetti for dinner. Then today, I took Pfeiffer to PetSmart to get a pedicure. While in the area, I stopped in Home Depot really quick. My cousin had installed a toilet seat that had a kid's seat intergrated into the lid. Since Carter's current removable seat is quite disgusting and needs to be replaced, we decided to just splurge and get this one. So, I ran in and bought that while Pfeiffer was in the van. Luckily it isn't a very hot day and she was fine for the five minutes it took.

But, all in all, I think I'm ready. I finally got my bag almost fully packed. Of course there are some things I can't toss in until the morning of. I have to get Carter's bag together, but considering he only has a limited supply of shorts, I may have to wait a day or so. The boy has grown so much this past year that most of his shorts from last year are too tight. I'm trying to only buy him elastic waist pants to make it easier for him to get in and out of for potty time, so we have about a week's supply now. Sucks in the laundry department, but oh well.

I think I'm starting to get a little anxious about the whole surgery thought as well. I mean, last time, even though I was completely open for whatever happened, the c-section was just a means to an end. I didn't have time to worry about it. Plus, I was so scared that everything was okay with Carter that I didn't even think about the pressure and all. Now, that's all I can think of. At least I won't be having the pain of contractions at the same time, most likely. I'm sure everything will go just as smooth and just as fast as before. I just know I'll feel better when all of this is said and done with.

It's also a different hospital than before and while I hear nothing but good things about GBMC and I have had several good experiences with other things at the hospital, it's still the unknown.

I have told Chris that he has to take me out for a "last meal" on Sunday night. Considering I know this time that I won't be eating anything at least all of Monday, I want something good to end with. He is going with the daycare to a free O's game that afternoon with Carter so, hopefully it won't be a long game. When he gets back, we'll take Carter to my parents house to spend the night and then head out to Little Italy. I had mentioned the other day that I would like to head down there again as it's been years since I've eaten anywhere down there. So, Chris now wants to go so we are using this occassion as and excuse!

On Monday, my parents will take Carter to daycare and I'm assuming they will be stopping by the hospital at some point. Parts of me wonder if we should have Carter there, but then again, that's not the best place for a three year old and who knows how long they would have to wait in the waiting room before coming back to see me. I think if they just brought him up later in the evening it will be better. He'll stay at my parents' until I'm released. I know he'll love that. Especially since Emily is off school and all. They may not take him to daycare, I really don't care. We have to pay no matter what, so why not use it!

Well, I think a nap is in my future before I have to pick the Boy up. I think Chris has to work tonight so it will be my first night of giving a bath in a week or so! We'll see if this big ole preggo can lean over to wash her son off.

Yeah, I'm still here...still pregnant

Sorry I haven't updated this in a while. It's been a crazy, stressful and busy few weeks.

As of Friday, I am 38 weeks. I am officially done with work until August. Last Tuesday, I was at work and had a very strange dizzy spell. My left ear had been ringing for a day or so and all the sudden, I couldn't even see straight. My boss drove me over because I couldn't even walk straight let alone drive! Chris got there right when I got back into the room. The doctor basically said that she had no clue what the dizziness was, but it could have been a cold or something. I mentioned that I hadn't felt the baby move quite as much that morning so she decided to monitor me for a while. Because of her positioning, the only way we could get the monitor to work was for Chris to just hold the little sensor at an odd angle for 15 minutes. But, everything was fine. Later, after eating, she woke back up and started practicing for her kickboxing medal again. But, considering all the stress that I've been dealing with lately, I asked the doctor if she could write me out for the rest of the pregnancy. Since I'm not technically using disability or anything, she was fine with it.

We went back to the office to wrap up some final things. It felt odd walking out knowing I won't be back for so long!

But, the stress that I've been having is a long story, but for the few that read this that don't read my other journal, I'll just summarize it.

My aunt, the only aunt that I really know, had a massive stroke last Saturday. Luckily, she was in the hospital due to having lots of fluid in her lungs so they were able to begin treating her immediately. She has a huge clot on the left side of her brain so that means her entire right side is paralyzed. They hoped they could operate and try to get the clot out, but it turned out to be WAY too large. So, a week later, she's been in University of Maryland Hospital. She's had some good days and some bad days. One day she's awake and looking around and responding to questions and commands, but then the next, she's back to sleeping a lot and not responding correctly. I think that she at least recognizes people because she responded the best with her mother. My granny, two aunts and an uncle all drove up from North Carolina on Monday to be up here. Then, my other uncle came in from Florida yesterday. So, for the first time that I can ever remember, all of my Granny's children and their spouses (well, Roy's wife didn't come I don't think) were all together. My mom said when Edith saw Roy, she teared up. I think she realized that things were as serious as they are since only an emergency would bring him up here. It's sad that tragedies like this usually is the only thing that get families all together.

But, I think with all the stress of worrying about Edith contributed to my little "episode" on Tuesday. But, I'm relaxing now. I'm taking advantage of the quiet for now. One more week, most likely. I have not made ANY progress down there so I'm sure it will be right up to the 15th. At least I have an end date...no going well past my due date this time!

I'll try to update this more...I won't promise anything though! :)